Work, Life, Balance???

I used to believe I could do it all. That a woman was not only expected, but capable, of doing it all. Keep a clean and tidy home, be an involved parent, nuture their children's strengths, expose them to a variety of activities and events, hold a responsible job, cook healthy meals from scratch, keep a vegetable garden, can the vegetables you grew, always have some home baking available should company stop by and for lunch bags, volunteer in the community, be a supportive and loving wife, be well groomed etc. etc. In short, put everything and everyone's needs and wants in front of her own. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

How many women still feel they should be able to do it all? How many husbands think their wives should be able to do it all, and then have the energy for some great sex at the end of the day? How many of us hear talk about finding work/home balance? You know what? It's a fallacy. There's no such thing. Something has to give, whether it is your housekeeping, your parenting, the meals you serve, or, and this is probably the most common; your own self care.

Even though our mothers probably never said a word to us about trying to acheive all of the above, we've felt the pressure nevertheless. Parenting books, talk shows, sit coms, magazines, schools all tell us how to accomplish these tasks, but they never really tell you to get them all done. But how do we choose? They are all so important, or so we are led to believe. I nearly drove myself crazy trying to meet all these expectations, many of which I eventually realized I had placed on myself. What I did learn in the end, and wish someone had told me earlier in my married life, was the following:

 Set reasonable standards and clear boundaries for yourself

Sounds simple, overly simple, but try doing it. It takes a lot of thought, of weighing of priorities, to be able to decide what stays and what stops. Where you can cut corners, where you can delegate, what you can give up. Write it all out. Give it time. Think about it. Try a change out for a day or a week before making it part of your new, and improved life. It's a work in progress, but my mantra really does help to keep me from setting myself up for failure and/or going crazy.

I had a crazy day today at work, but just writing this has made me think about it, and reminded me to get back on track with my standards and boundaries. Tomorrow will be a good day.